I think there is something that people can get wrong about humility. They think it means to play small, be nice, be agreeable, and certainly don’t “be too full of yourself.” Any display of confidence is labeled as arrogance: “Don’t be sure of yourself, you are not that good.” This poisons the performance of people who let that nonsense into their minds. It is utter nonsense.
My observation is that this stems from a misconception about confidence, arrogance, and humility.
Arrogance = a mind that is untested, untrained, and/or unsatisfied.
Confidence = a mind that has “seen the elephant” and succeeded.
Humility = building your skill so you can build on your wins because you want to execute better and cleaner.
What people get wrong is that going out of your way to be nice and play small so that you appear humble is sabotaging your mental game. What they get wrong is that it is absolutely OK to be proud of yourself. It is absolutely OK to take up space. It is OK if people know you’re good at the job.
This playing small thing, of course, is in order to protect the ego of the untested and unsatisfied. But this comes at great costs to yourself. You see, there are people who cannot abide you feeling good about yourself if they don’t feel good about themselves. These are the “crabs in the bucket,” and they will work only to drag you down with them.
Not build you up.
Not support you.
Being Humble.
Andy Frisella perfectly described what humility is on a podcast not too long ago. He brought up Conor McGregor (before his knee quit working) and how people generally only see his over the top swagger and arrogance, and they just assume that the guy is an arrogant ass all of the time. But if you watch him in training, there is no swagger. There is no arrogance. He is humble. He is listening, learning, and doing the reps required to master a skill. Doing the work IS being humble. It is the action arm of humility. Be humble in training, confident in execution.
Humility is not just knowing that you can get better, but doing the work to get better. It is dissecting your performance and training out the weaknesses. It is studying to shore up knowledge gaps. It’s the teammate who never works on the craft out of a belief that “I don’t need to know all of that” or “I already know everything I need to know” that is wearing a mask of arrogance.
Close Out
Be confident and confident in execution. You have to be. You cannot walk in to a dire and desperate situation and not be confident that you can handle it. Your swagger was created for exactly that situation.
Don’t be a braggart. Bravado and braggadocious behavior ask to be tested. Confidence and humility are seen, not heard.
